I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
