I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
