did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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