i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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