you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
