brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
