Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
