I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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