Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
