I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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