that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
jump out the window naked night went bad
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
