i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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