So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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