i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
