She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
