Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
