the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
