I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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