East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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