Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
