P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize