We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
