I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
