I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
