You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize