I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
