I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
All I want is dick and wine.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
