You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
