You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
