sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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