That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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