i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
