Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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