they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
