Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
