YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
