so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
