I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
