I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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