so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
