did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
