I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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