nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This beer is not sobering me up at all
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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