My nipple is on Facebook.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
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He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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