So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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