You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
