Buhtt sex?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
