Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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