he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
