Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow

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  (734): is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow http://tfl.nu/rth3
  Replies (4) Good night (1296) Bad night (507)
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  (707): View more from California

  he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting

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  (707): he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting http://tfl.nu/k7m6
  Replies (78) Good night (9621) Bad night (1605)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head

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  (604): it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head http://tfl.nu/xa8x
  Replies (38) Good night (5068) Bad night (1457)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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  (978): If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises. http://tfl.nu/xzxa
  Replies (8) Good night (4064) Bad night (1411)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  it's like heaven, but drunker

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  (940): it's like heaven, but drunker http://tfl.nu/yzff
  Replies (3) Good night (2916) Bad night (798)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.

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  (516): The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone. http://tfl.nu/jz14
  Replies (19) Good night (3718) Bad night (1505)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out

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  (403): That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out http://tfl.nu/2o0c
  Replies (8) Good night (3901) Bad night (874)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

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  (724): It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution. http://tfl.nu/mzdu
  Replies (0) Good night (738) Bad night (2443)
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  (714): View more from California

  I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.

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  (714): I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash. http://tfl.nu/gnlc
  Replies (7) Good night (623) Bad night (2562)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....

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  (250): So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too..... http://tfl.nu/p12c
  Replies (2) Good night (844) Bad night (463)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.

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  (231): A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners. http://tfl.nu/ba89
  Replies (11) Good night (2279) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Oh god, what has my life become?

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  (301): I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him. (301): Oh god, what has my life become? http://tfl.nu/d6o7
  Replies (6) Good night (767) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load

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  (317): There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load http://tfl.nu/2y1d
  Replies (6) Good night (957) Bad night (415)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.

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  (919): Its like I've been given a sexual blank check. http://tfl.nu/9gvj
  Replies (0) Good night (617) Bad night (191)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You're a good person. Sharing is caring.

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  (412): I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done. (904): You're a good person. Sharing is caring. http://tfl.nu/jz12
  Replies (0) Good night (1013) Bad night (224)

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