it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'd cum for enchiladas.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar