we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
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As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
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Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
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I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.