I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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