My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night