Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely

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(716): View more from New York

Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day

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(706): View more from Georgia

thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.

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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp

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(224): View more from Illinois

my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno

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(647): View more from Ontario

I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar

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