I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
