Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
