if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
