i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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