i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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