try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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