So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
