i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
