you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
