when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize